It's funny in a sad kind of way. The presentation topic was attribution theory of motivation, which is about what people attribute their sucess or failures to. 

I attribute this failure to lack of ability. Which in reality, is kind of the worst thing you can blame failure on. It's sad to know that you don't do well at something because you simply just suck at it, and that's me with presentations. 

Sometimes I do okay. I think today was a step backwards. Group presentations really frighten me. being directly compared to other people is not something I enjoy. My other presentations this semester have been individual, and I've done better in those. But...today was just really bad. I'm just really unhappy and disappointed and really thinking about how much I suck. Once again, another reason to ponder why on earth I'm becoming a teacher. Won't know my results til next week, but when you can't go up there without a sheet of paper, and when you talk fast and stumble over your shit, you can't expect something good. so I'm screwed. Even though it was a group presentation it's individually marked though. So...I guess a good thing is that I'm not dragging anyone down, but it's just really embarrassing how bad I am. 

I think it really devestates me when I do badly at stuff. Particularly if it's academic. I suppose that explains why I hate maths so much. But yeah. It's just really upsetting. 

I'm not looking for sympathy or advice or anything like that. I just needed to vent. 

I think at the moment I'm just really, really sad. 

Love much. 

xx