....When people are emo, I never tell them to think of all the other people are more miserable than they are. Because, that doesn't make you feel better. EVER. if anything, it makes you feel more guilty and makes you feel even more shit.

Life = SHIT.

People = Shitter.

Me = Shittest.

Life is how it is according to the choices you make right? Well I must have made some stupid ass choices.

You know those stupid emails you get where they tell you that you can unsubscribe from whatever stupid thing you signed up for in the first place?

Well you know what, I unsubscribe from life.

Pissed. To the maximus.

I think the worst people you can ask for relationship advice is someone like me, who I think is pretty jaded. I like to throw out really stupid lines sometimes, like so:

Since I got home I haven't done any of my portfolio. fml. My head just hurts so bad.

I've been super procrastinating. =[

Last night I was sure I'd finish on time, now I'm not so sure. And I'm seriously getting agro every time someone from my family talks to me.

One word: Stress.

xx

To add to my throat pains, I now have a blocked nose and headache. weeeee.

I just feel so tired. Honestly, all I want to do right now is lie in bed and sleep. You know what's stupid though, it's so effing hard to sleep when you're sick! What with the blocked noses and feeling like you're going to vomit in bed. yeah. sexy.

Grrrr.

I wish writing up an assessment was as easy as blogging. I'd be set by now (Duong, 2009, p.1). Ha. I just thought I'd reference myself to get in the assessmenting mood.

Oh, and I'm going to try and get an extension for my Friday assessments...I'm heading to the doctor tomorrow to get me a certificate. Sigh..I've never applied for an extension before, I feel really bad about doing it too, I guess you can't help it if you're sick though, right? =[ But I'm gunna try to finish my assessment by the due date still. I wouldn't wanna extend my misery, and it'll lesson my guilt too.

Okay, that's it. This blog is really turning into an 'update on duong's medical condition' blog. -_- as well as rant central for my assessments. I'm such a pain in the ass. lol

xx

P.S. I know you're going to read this Roger. DON'T WORRY! I'm doing everything I can to reduce the sickness. =] Including toweling my head. lols

Not so much.

THEY SENT ME THE WRONG SHOES!!! GARHHH!!

Well, they got it right with the platforms, so yay for them, but they didn't send me the suede shoes. -__- Whoever did my order must've read 'black suede' as 'black snake' because that's what I got. A snakeskin versiony thing of the suede shoes I was supposed to get. Ergh.

Damn payless shoes. I bought them from the online store. And normally I would say 'haha, yeah I know, I'm cheap' but they weren't even that cheap, which makes it even more annoying -_- Pay less? More like pay the same thing and get extra hassle. NOT COOL!

Now, I HATE having to deal with exchanges/refunds/anything related to that stuff. I just don't tend to like giving people a hard time if they aren't able to help me, but...on the receipt and all that crap they sent along with the shoes, it said if we wanna exchange or refund just take the shoes to a store and they'll do it.

Sounds.....un-intimidating enough. I dunno though. It feels like a hassle.

And now I'm wondering if I really do want the suede version because I have a feeling these will last a bit longer because all my shoes tend to die, and suede just seems like it'll die sooner.

I hate making decisions.

So, to swap, or not to swap?

That is the question.

xx

To everyone that works at a call centre and has to make outbound calls about certain products, etc. FUCK OFF! I don't want what you're selling, if I did I wouldn't buy it over the phone, and I DON'T TRUST YOU! I know it's your job, but for goodness sake, learn that no means no. I try to be as civil as I can to these people, but it's funny how it works, considering that the longer you stay on the damn phone with them the more annoying they get. They can't take a 'sorry, I'm not interested', and honestly, they are asking to be hung up on. This is why people are so rude to them. The kinder you are, the longer they'll try to persist. I don't care if you're on commission fuckers, if you annoy someone, they're not just gunna buy/donate/overhaul their life just because you tell them to. I understand how hard it must be for you, and that it's 'earning a living', BUT HAVE SOME EFFING EMPATHY FOR THE PEOPLE YOU'RE PISSING OFF!

If someone is interested, they'll take you up on your offer. If they're not, repeating the same thing a kazillion times isn't going to change that. Accept it when people say no and move on to the next damn person. There's no point wasting your time trying to convince one household when they've already said no.

For goodness sake.

I feel like going on a godzilla rampage.

I can't possibly be the only one that is annoyed by this. There's only so long I can be civil, and when we get a few calls from different companies EVERYDAY, it's kind of hard not to get sick of it.

I just want peace. Is that so wrong?

Urgh.

xx

I went into my high school today to ask if I could do observations. It was so strange going in there and talking to the teachers and stuff. Very, very weird. But oddly quite comfortable too. Anywho, I went there to see the head teacher of geography dept. But he wasn't there. fail. Luckily all the other teachers were there, and when I told them about observations and all, they were all quite positive about it and saying how I can come in after school holidays when it's calmer and all that jazz, and yeah, they told me to call up the head teacher tomorrow or something, but my business studies teacher got my number (bow chika wow wow), so I dunno if I'm meant to call, or like...do I wait for him to call? Man, it's like what happens after a date. =P

Hopefully I'll be able to do observations soon though...or before friday on the first week back. I didn't realise that my portfolio was due so fricken soon. School starts up again on the 19th of October, but my portfolio is due on the 23rd...so...I sense that I'm going to be effed. *Panic*

In other news, I had my b'day lately. Yay! On saturday I went out to celebrate with my friends. In the morning/afternoon Von and I helped squidge make the cake. We are soooo pro at cutting chocolate into little pieces, so if you ever need that done (since it's like, an essential part of everyday life and all), you know who to call. =P

On a less happy note, I'm RAGING.

I'm sure I have some serious attitude problems and the like, but really, I'm so much happier when I don't have to talk to people. Am I the only retaded person like that? Here's a tip for all of you to survive my wrath though, of all the conversation topics, stay away from my relationship.

I've learnt a long, long time ago how much people judge. And I'm sure a lot of people dislike Roger and think all this stupid crap about him, and you know, whatever, you can think what you like, but seriously, what do people expect? If you don't like my bf, doesn't mean I'm just gunna ditch him for your sake. I think that's why for both mine and Roger's sake, I don't like when people want to meet him. [I finally discovered the reason squidge!] I dunno, what people see, and what I know is different. And it's called your personal life for a reason right? So I think I'd just like to keep it separate from everything, and from other people.

I think since high school I've learnt not to talk about my relationship too much. Sometimes I'm stupid and complain to people about it though, and I've realised how much of a mistake that is. People make judgements based on what you tell them. Just because you hear someone complaining, doesn't mean it's ALWAYS horrific, or that they're a bad person. Good luck finding a perfect relationship folks, if you do, kudos! but from now on, I'm done. Roger is off topics. kthxbye.

xx

P.S. I think this vent has been coming on for a LONG time. Sorry it happened to be in your b'day post schnitzelpuff! I'm just a rageaholic!

I can't say I'm happy in general though. My future is pretty bleak career-wise. Even now it's looking pretty dodge. Since I'm not too happy with myself now either, I'm pretty keen on hating other people now too. =D Seriously, everything is pissing me off. Well. no. I was doing okay until my brother decided to be a douchebag. then everything started kind of going downhill.

Maybe I should just take a break from people and just see roger now. I feel happy about who I am when I'm with him. I don't feel like I need to be anything more than what I am.

The blogosphere is starting to annoy me too. and MSN. So I'm going to take a break.

See you when I see you.

it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

Gotta love music for making you feel better in your times of need.

Let's talk a bit, okay?

On Wednesday, Roger and I broke up. Probably the best move for now I think. I think we were both just getting too complacent. I suppose that's what happens after 4 years. Maybe that's why people get married after few years or something....

I called him yesterday though, and we were talking for an hour or so. I'm going to see him tomorrow and we're just gunna talk and stuff. Get reacquainted I guess. lol. It's kind of a nice thought really. But yeah. Hopefully it turns out okay.

I've also been pissed off at the lack of direction in my life.

I hate uni. [I always will, let's face it].

And I hate that I don't have a job. I'm working on it though. -_-

Ah well, maybe I'll turn out less retarded in the next lifetime. Just gotta make the most of what you have I suppose.

At least I've stopped hating how I look. Now I just hate everything else.

Progress ftw.

Ha ha.

I really shouldn't blog when I'm frustrated..

We'll talk after monday.

xx

like, really, really, hate people.

My life feels kind of chaotic at the moment too. I feel like a bum. =D

Time to crawl into my shell I think.

Hiatus. See you on the flipside. [i.e. if i ever feel like venting.]

xx

Maybe msn's gotten boring. *bleep* Or maybe I'm just too tired to talk to anyone. *bleep* It's no one in particular really. *bleeep bleeeeeeeeep BLEEEEEEP* 

What's that bleeping you ask? Oh, it's just my internal lie detecter. 

I've been SOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrated lately. Sometimes I think that msn's offline messaging is genius. Other times I want it to get away because people can be so annoying! leave me alone! If ever I want to talk to you I can do it myself, when I'm online. Did it ever occur to you that I'm not online for a reason?! DON'T MAKE ME BLOCK YOU! ARGH!!! *Chucks a karate kid and wax off's your face* 

I seriously hope they get the point soon, coz it's seriously making me not want to talk to anyone and urges to chuck my laptop at their head is increasing. 

Alright. enough complaining. 

Later aviators, 

xx

P.S. dw schnitzelkopf, I'm not referring to you. You can bother me anytime. =P *insert sleaze emoticon here*

1. People seriously need to reassess what their definition of friendship is. And perhaps I do too. Last I checked though, I thought you were supposed to supoort the choices your friends make. Also, I think as much as joking is important to a friendship, you really should be more considerate of how people feel. Besides, as a friend you're sposed to know what your friends are sensitive about anyway. 
2. All because you say something in jest, doesn't mean that you don't mean it. It also doesn't mean that it's any easier to hear. Like I said in my first point, be effing considerate. 
3. Just so you know, if ever I say you're being a bitch [guys included thanks], you are. I don't just randomly abuse you for the fun of it. 
4. Stop fricken judging people! I know I probably do it sometimes too, but at least I try to be rational about it. All because I don't like one part of a person doesn't mean I'm going to hold a vendetta against them for the rest of my life. I mean, if they do something horribly scarring or completely unacceptable, then fine. Otherwise, lay off. 

Okay. That's everything I'm annoyed about at the moment. Which probably explains why I'm feeling so reclusive. I'm not a person with a bajillion friends, and maybe a year or two ago I would've said that the ones I did have though, were close ones. Not now. But maybe it's the slow build up of all the things I've been annoyed about just making my tolerance levels extremely low right now.

Also, I realise how hypocritical I'm being, you know, yabbering on about not judging people and then creating a whole entry just to rant about the characteristics of people that are annoying me. But think about this as a way to reconsider yourselves and the way you think of other people. 

Maybe then I won't be such an uptight bitch all the time and have to make retarded entries like this. 

The end. 

xx